Peer Review-20418

Grade
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?


-5. It is technically perfect, follows the classical argument, displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic. It is also clearly the product of thorough drafting and research

Thesis
What is the thesis?

-Could South Korea  defend the cyberattack of North Korea?

Is the thesis clear and debatable?

-Yes. It was also fresh.
If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?

-What policy Korean government should have to defend North Korea's cyberattack?

Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?

-Yes. I can easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument.
Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis? 

-Her introduction caught my attention, leading to the thesis comfortably.
Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?

-Yes. The narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic.
Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?

-Yes. The confirmation adequately support the thesis.
Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?

-Yes. The refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner.
Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis? 

-Yes. The conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis.
What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?

-I don't think it has lacking parts.
Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis? 

-I agreed with the thesis.
When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?

-I agreed with the thesis.

Research
Is the author using research effectively? 

-Yes. She was using research effectively in her essay.

Is the research from appropriate sources?

-Yes. She wrote the sources with researches.
Are the sources obvious?

-Yes.
Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?

-Yes. They were all appropriate and relevant to the thesis or essay.

Peer Review-20417

Grade
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?


-5. It is technically perfect, follows the classical argument, displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic. It is also clearly the product of thorough drafting and research

How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?

-It was difficult to see her essay. It would be better to arrange the essay's paragraphs.
Thesis
What is the thesis?

-Cyber diplomacy of  the North Korea

Is the thesis clear and debatable?

-Yes. Freedom of internet has been good resolution of debate for long times.
If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?

-What policy Korean government should have over internet diplomacy?

Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?

-Yes. I can easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument.
Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis? 

-Her introduction caught my attention, leading to the thesis comfortably.
Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?

-Yes. The narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic.
Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?

-Yes. The confirmation adequately support the thesis.
Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?

-Yes. The refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner.
Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis? 

-Yes. The conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis.
What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?

-I don't think it has lacking parts.
Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis? 

-I agreed with the thesis.
When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?

-I agreed with the thesis.

Research
Is the author using research effectively? 

-Yes. She was using research effectively in her essay.

Is the research from appropriate sources?

-Yes. She wrote the sources with researches.
Are the sources obvious?

-Yes.
Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?

-Yes. They were all appropriate and relevant to the thesis or essay.

Final Draft

Language Learning

 20416 Lee Han Seul

Language is the most quotidian and natural thing among many things human has. It is so natural that most people can't even recognize that we use it everyday. However, learning various languages in MCH, I begin to be curious about language. Then, I really came to wonder basic thing of language : how did human begin to speak language? Researching about whether humans speak language by learning or innate abilities, I realized that it has been a very interesting question in linguistics. There are various theories about it.

 

One of the most important things to human is language. Think about the world without language. People won’t be able to communicate and its result will be gloomy. Therefore, language is so crucial part in human life that many people have researched about it for many years. Among these researches, the most interesting and important and mysterious thing is how human began to have the language. There are two famous hypotheses about it : ‘The Language Learning’ and ‘The Language Acquisition.’

 

‘The Language Acquisition’ is a theory that people are born with a language acquisition device, an area in our brains that makes learning language a natural event and therefore, with little guidance, children will naturally learn language. That is, people are born with an innate ability to learn language.(Chomsky, 1957, p.23) In contrast, ‘the language Learning’ is a theory that any acquisition was due to a learning process involving the shaping of grammar into a correct form by the re-enforcement of other stimulus.(Skinner, 1948, p.146)

 

Nowadays, the first one is thought to be more reasonable. It says that the human has the language acquisition ability which is genetically handed down and acquires the languages by the ability. Noam Chomsky(1957) started this hypothesis with the language acquisition device(LAD). LAD is the system of the human brain that is the base of the language acquisition.(Chomsky, 1957, p.89) Nowadays, this theory is combined with additional opinion of ‘critical periods.’ It says there is critical periods for acquiring language. That is, there is an optimal period for language acquisition, ending at puberty. However, in its original formulation (Lenneberg, 1967, p.35).

 

Therefore, I want to argue that it is important for the purpose of making children learn language easily to let them listen to various languages as many as possible since they were born. Here are many supporting theories of this hypothesis and opinion : human brain, evolutionary psychology, the story of Genie, and the research about US babies' language capacity.

 

First theory is about our brain. In brain, there is a special area which is related to the language. This fact is approved by various brain shooting skills, such as fMRI, PET, and so on. Several areas of the cerebral cortex are involved in understanding of the language and calculation. First, especially Broca's area and Wernicke's area in the left hemisphere, which is closely related to the languages, ​​are critical areas that are responsible for calculating and understanding of the languages. Broca's area is in the frontal lobe of left hemisphere and calculates words, neighboring the parietal lobe which is responsible for capacity for locomotion. This research finding shows that human has biologically acquired language acquisition device.

 

Second, evolutionary psychology says that humans have adapted to many things such as arachnophobia, goose bumps and one of those things is a language, especially spoken language. That is, human have an innate ability to acquire spoken the language in childhood without needing formal lessons, since complex the language has been documented in every human society, including all hunter-gatherer societies.(Pinker, 2012, p.187) Also, according to evolutionary psychology, the first year after birth is decisive for acquiring language. (Chae, 2012, p. 108)

 

Third supporting theory is the story of Genie (Curtiss, 1971). She was not exposed to the language, living closed life by her parents. After she was discovered (when she was 13), she was educated by the language learning system. However she could only recite some words, like ‘I like hear music ice cream truck.’(Curtiss, 1981, p.21) In the Genie’s story, we can identify the critical period. There is a critical period in language development of human and if children missed the critical period when they were sensitive to the language, they could not acquire the language very well. Genie lost the period to learn a language, so she couldn’t learn the language very well although she got very organized education system.

 

Fourth theory is about the research finding of United States(EBS, 2011). In USA, researchers had two-months-old babies listen to English sentences and French sentences in an opposite direction. Then they measured the time that those babies look direction where one sentence is told. As a result, babies look direction in which US sentence is told. It is because those babies are more exposed to US English, so they are skilled to it. Another evidence is a research that shows that US babies distinguish ‘r’ and ‘l’ better than Japanese babies do. It is because, of course, US babies are better exposed to English than Japanese babies. This shows that the exposure of the language is important to acquire a language. Although humans have an innate ability to acquire a language, but humans can’t get the language if they were not exposed to the language.

 

The language is very imperative, interesting and mysterious part of human. There is no organism that speaks various and certain the languages, except human. It is because human has innate ability to acquire the languages. It is a theory named ‘Nativist theory.’ This theory is supported by brain structure, evolutionary psychology, and so on. Moreover, pedagogy term 'critical period' appeared, proving the theory. Therefore, I come to think people should make children listen as many languages as possible since they are young for the purpose of easy language learning. Although some people might say that people don't have to make efforts to learn the language because every human has innate ability to acquire the language. However, the language exposure is one of the important parts in the language acquisition. It is proved by the story of Genie and the research about US babies' language capacity. In conclusion, we should let children listen many languages to make them acquire language effectively.

 

Preference

Noam Chomsky(1957), The Hague: Mouton, Syntactic structures

Burrhus Frederic Skinner(1948), Harvard University Publish, Verbal Behavior

Eric Lenneberg(1967), The Critical Period for Language Acquisition

Steven Pinker(2012), Harvard University Publish, Harvard Sampler : The Human Mind

Susan Curtiss(1981), New York: Academic Press, Genie: The Case of a Modern Wild Child.

Chae, Soo Eun(2012 : 105-120), The Korean Journal of Developmental Psychology Vol. 25, No. 4, Critical periods for second language acquisitions: An analytical review of developmental models

EBS(2011), EBS Documentary Prime, Mystery of Language Development